As of late, I have been pondering the idea of "feminism". (No, I am not putting that in quotes to show sarcasm. I am simply enunciating the word.) While I totally agree that a woman should have the same rights and wages as a man in the workforce, especially if they are doing the same job, and while I totally agree that women and men should be treated equally in life, just as should all ethnicities of the human race- I think something gets misconstrued when it comes to women who have fallen in love with a man.
The sad thing about what gets misconstrued is that (usually) the people pointing fingers at such women who are in love are also women.
Now, it's no surprise that women can be downright disgusting to one another and it's true that we don't really get dressed up to impress men, it's usually to impress ourselves and other women. It's an ongoing competition, struggle, and unspoken way of life. I personally have only had one true best girl friend my entire life and I consider that in and of itself rare and, let's face it, awesome. That just doesn't happen anymore. Women are spiteful and deceitful beings at times. It makes it hard to find true friends in all of that mess. The bottom line is that women are not (always) good to one another.
An example of this that I have experienced first hand in the time since I began dating my now very serious boyfriend, is that people (but again, mostly women) look at me differently. Not all people, mind you, because there are many who look at us with love and adoration. There are those who are truly happy for what we have found in one another and genuinely wish us the best.
Then there are those who, well... don't. Even if they say they do. You know what I mean? Whether you want to call it jealousy or spite or whatever- there are so many people in this world who will not only look down on a relationship as a whole, but look down on [the woman] in said relationship for "succumbing to domestication".
I am a prime example of this because I have moved across the country with my boyfriend. "You aren't even married!" I know, I'm such a slut. And I could go on and on to explain to those people that I know my boyfriend is the one for me, blah, blah, blah... but, really? I know it's a waste of time. I couldn't explain the depths of our relationship to anyone and get them to understand if I talked until I was blue in the face. They won't get it. It's not their relationship to "get". I'm not worried about that.
What I am worried about is this- the people who look at me as if I'm less simply because I am in love.
I see it in their faces and in their eyes when they speak to me about my relationship. Regardless if they are wishing us well or telling us that we're going to hell; I see it. It's hard to explain how I can determine what I'm seeing as "looking down on" versus "jealousy", but there's a definite difference and I guess you'll just have to take my word for that.
When I hear about stories of women mocking other women for doing their significant other's laundry, it makes me sick to my stomach. If she doesn't mind doing his laundry and he isn't physically forcing her to do so, what is the problem with her washing his clothes? I realize that there was a time when a woman was told she had to stay home and take care of the kids, do the housework, and hold down the fort. I realize that there was a time when women weren't free to go after their own goals and ambitions because that was "the man's job". But that time has passed. Who is to say that both a man and a woman can't live out their passions in the world and then come home to each other and work as a team to accomplish the household chores? I'm not saying household responsibilities should lie solely on the woman while the man gets home and cracks open another beer. But as hard working women who have experienced both love for a man and inner passion for success, should we really be pointing fingers at and belittling each other for throwing some dirty underwear and soap in a washing machine?
Women have come a long way since the early 1900's and, yes, we still have a long way to go. But when it gets right down to it, if we want to change the way the world looks at us, shouldn't we start by changing the way we look at each other?
Let her wash his dirty underwear if she wants to because the truth of the matter is, she'll probably make him do the dishes after dinner.
Let's lift each other up, ladies. And never feel ashamed for being in love.
Food for thought. 'Til next time.
Xxx
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