Focusing on the good.

When I started this blog I told myself that I didn't want to ever post anything negative. Two blogs in and I, of course, realized that was unrealistic. Life is full of ups and it's full of downs and, therefore, any writing that you do about your life will reflect that. My last post described how much I miss home and how moving here has been much harder for me than I thought it was going to be. Well, I suppose that's still true. However, I'm learning to love it here more and more every day.

My best friend in the whole world, someone who might as well be my sister because we've been attached at the hip since we were five, came to visit this past weekend. 11 weeks we went without seeing each other, which for the record is the longest we've gone without one another since we were five. I'm pretty sure we never stopped laughing the entire time she was here. Not for a single solitary second. Seeing her in that airport was one of my favorite moments since arriving here. We talked for a solid hour about make-up before stopping and shouting at the same time, "I missed talking about this stuff with someone who actually cares!" Our boyfriends oblige us, but let's face it- they don't care about contouring or blending brushes.

We ate too much, drank too much, and shopped too much. It was exactly what I needed. But then she had to go home and this morning when I woke up to a boyfriend at work and a best friend back in California, I felt even more alone than before. It was even quieter than usual. It's a sting that I can't even accurately describe. All I can say is that it was a sting that took two cups of coffee, an intense work out session, a Target splurge, AND dark chocolate to shake off. Once I did, I had a little pep talk with myself. Something I've become quite good at since moving here since, most of the time, I'm the only one around to cheer myself up.

I realized that I need to be grateful for the memories I made with my best friend this weekend and look forward to the ones to come next time she visits. I realized that I truly am living out a life-long dream here, even on the days when I feel emotionally drained and my soul is tired. I'm still here. I'm still breathing. I'm still doing this. I realized that this won't last forever, nothing ever does, and there will come a time in my life when I look back and miss this place and this time. I'll miss seeing the seasons change and feeling the excitement of not knowing what each outing is going to bring. I'll miss spending time in the city. I'll miss this little apartment and the way all of our cute little things look in it. I'll miss this.

The grass is always greener on the other side. But maybe it's about time I start watering where I'm standing. 

People are going to disappoint you. They are going to make mistakes and so are you. Sometimes it's hard to forgive, sometimes you can't do it right away, but give yourself time. Since moving here, many of my relationships have been hindered. I have to work every day to not let it get me down and to not allow myself to feel isolated. Maybe some relationships will get so broken that they never truly heal. It will hurt, sure, but you can focus on them or you can focus on the good. I'm trying to focus on the good and I ask that you, whomever you are, would try with me. And if you're lucky, maybe you'll find yourself in love with your soul mate in the greatest city in the world with a beautiful best friend who comes to visit and share it with you from time to time. At least I did.

Here's to the good in our lives and raising a brave middle finger to the bad.

'Til next time.

Xo