Christmas reflecting and Resolutions.

Christmas is over and I am supposed to be cleaning my apartment right now to prepare for the New Year's Eve party that we are supposed to have in two days. Having a week between Christmas and New Years is kind of nice, when you think about it. Usually, if you're like me, you have a little break and a little time to yourself to slowly say goodbye to your favorite time of year.

Christmas always comes so fast, but it comes just a little bit faster the older I get. Seriously-- Christmas got here in what seemed like only a month or two after it had just passed. Isn't that strange how that happens?

It's always just a little bit different, too. The people around you are a little different, the decorations in the boxes you've always had seem a little bit different, and you- yourself- are usually a little bit different, too.

I miss New York. (I don't miss New Jersey.) But I miss New York. I miss the hustle and bustle of people. The sharp cold on my cheeks. The feeling of Jason beside me as we wander down 5th Avenue. But I am so grateful for that time. In fact, it still feels like a dream. And I know that what I had with my city is a big part of the reason why I am who I am today-- this Christmas.

And next Christmas-- boy, oh boy! I am going to be MARRIED. Married, I tell you! I am going to be Taylor Christine Paris, and wife to the love of my life. If I thought Christmas felt different this year, I can only imagine what it will feel like then... And oh, how I love to imagine it.

I am so excited about the wedding. My family and friends are, too, and we're getting to that sweet spot in the planning process where just about 80% of all conversations revolve around the wedding. However, I'm surprising myself by how much more I think about what is going to come after the wedding. And no, I don't just mean the Honeymoon. I'm surprising myself because even though my thoughts drift to the wedding day and my dress and so on, quite often... They drift even more to what will come afterwards. The marriage. I am so excited to be married to my best friend. To get to say, "Oh, hi! Hello! This is my husband, Jason." To hear him say, "Have you met my wife?"

I'm so excited to get a house, and make it our own. To travel to Europe together, hopefully quite often. To get a dog, hopefully a Golden. And to start a family of our own. Growing old doesn't even seem so bad, knowing that Jason will be getting just as old right along side me.

Now, among all of this reflecting on both the present and the past-- I've, of course, been also planning my New Year's Resolutions. And here they are...

1. Get toned and stay slim for the wedding.

Because, cliché. I hadn't even realized how much weight I gained on the East Coast until I moved home and lost it, and then lost some more. I am more comfortable in my body than I maybe ever have been, and here's hoping I can keep it that way. It would also be nice to have some sexy, toned arms because I'm planning on a strapless, sweetheart wedding dress and ya girl wants to look goooood.

2. Read more.

When we lived in Jersey, I read CONSTANTLY. At one point I read seven books in one week. Seven. It was fantastic. I've always been an avid reader, but I had reached an all-time high at that point. Since we moved home, however, I haven't been making the time. Reading is so important. Getting lost in a good book is such a wonderful gift. No more taking that for granted.

3. Write more.

Yes, on this blog of course, but in general as well. I started my second novel in Jersey and I want to finish it. If only to see what happens because it's getting pretty good.

4. Grow my YouTube channel.

This is a hard one for me to even type, because to be frank-- it just makes me feel lame. In fact, I go back and forth between feeling completely lame and totally awesome every time I post a video. But I love the YouTube community and I love that people can make a living doing what they love. I want to be one of those people. Making videos is fun, no matter how many times that little voice in my head tells me it's stupid.

5. Do one (or more) spontaneous and romantic thing with Jason every single month.

When we lived in Jersey, it was just us two. We struggled with it from time to time, we got lonely. We missed our friends and going out with people or having them come over. But we also did really well on our own. We became closer than ever and bonded in a way that I've never bonded with anyone. It was truly a blessing. Now that we're back, we've lost that a little bit and we both miss it. We want to please everyone and never want to say "no" when we're asked to do something with someone because we spent so much time away. But it's important we make time for ourselves, too. The connection we share is too precious to be overlooked.

So that's it! I think these are reasonable resolutions and I look forward to checking them in what will feel like 5 minutes from now to see if I achieved them.

Happy Holidays and many blessings to you and yours in the New Year!

With love always,

City Girl from Cali

Reflecting amongst the stars.

Finals are officially over. Which means that I have successfully completed my first semester at a real-life University. Red, cobble-stone walkways and all. Well, somewhat successfully. I don't really consider getting a B+ in English successful for me, but I digress. I'm still waiting to know how I did in Economics and, sadly, hoping I passed with a C. That professor was a real piece of work with his impossible-to-decipher accent and ridiculously worded tests. Economics is hard enough to understand, now I have to learn whatever language you're speaking and trying to pass off as English, as well?

Other than that- all A's. I even got a 99% on my math final. MATH. If you would have told me that I would do better in math than English this semester, I would have said you were insane. 

Now, finally, I am sitting on the plane next to my sweetheart and we are on our way to California. Where the weather is warm and so are the people. My people. People I've missed so terribly for the past year. I've dreamed of running into their arms and laughing amidst their laughter for months now, and the time has finally come. 

What a year. Can you believe that it's almost been a year that I've lived with those that dwell on the East? I can't. I mean, don't get me wrong, some days felt like years in and of themselves. But all in all, this year has flown by and I've learned and grown so much. So I thought that I would take the time I have now on this flight, flying amongst the stars and looking down at the perfectly tidy and lit up world below me, to talk about what I've learned and how I've grown.

I learned about snow this year and we ended up having a love/hate relationship. I had to put layers upon layers just to take out the trash and scrape ice off of my car's windshield. But let's face it, snow coats the entire world and makes it absolutely beautiful for a little while, allowing you to forget about all of the crap that lies beneath it, and that's pretty awesome. I learned how important it is to step outside of your comfort zone. Because moving across the country was not the end of stepping out of my comfort zone, it was merely the beginning. Then I had to grow accustomed to a new house, new streets, new grocery stores, new Chinese food. I had to learn how to take the train and NOT hyperventilate. It took a few months, but I'm proud to say that I can now ride the train without feeling like I'm going to throw up. I found my way around the train station. I found my way around New York City and actually look like (almost) not a tourist when I go there. I learned that you can't take anyone personally here. Literally, not a single person. They have there own way of looking at the world and it doesn't coincide with my way of looking at things, but that's okay. I had to learn how to live with them anyway.

I got engaged this year. Like, holy crap. Not only did I get engaged, but I got engaged to the love of my entire life. The person who makes me melt and still gives me butterflies. The person who can frustrate me beyond belief and then minutes later make me laugh until my stomach hurts. Someone who just gets more and more handsome every day and always holds my hand. Someone who got down on one knee in Central Park and asked me to be his forever. That really happened, believe it or not. (Sometimes I can't quite believe it myself.) And it happened this year.

I learned how important it is to follow your dreams.Yes, this year has been terrifying. It has scared the absolute shit out of me (sometimes literally... kidding. horrible visual. moving on.) on more than one occasion. My heart ached more than I knew it ever could this year with this horrible thing called homesickness. But if I'd have allowed myself to be ruled by fear one year ago, I wouldn't have any of the memories I made this year. I wouldn't have New York. I wouldn't have had a proposal in my favorite place in the world. I wouldn't have had any of it. I was braver than I was scared and that made all the difference. 

More than anything, though, I learned one thing. The most important thing that maybe I've ever learned. I learned how important family is. Love and laughter and being around people who make you feel good and happy and alive- that's what's most important. Everything else is temporary. Family is infinite. It's everything. My grandparents, my parents, my aunts, uncles, cousins, my best friend, my fiancé, my dogs, my cat... All are my family. I also learned that I am so excited to have a family of my own someday.

Christmas has always been my most favorite time of year. And I know that people say that from time to time, only half meaning it. Well, I mean it wholly. I think, though, that this particular Christmas is going to be my best one yet. I've grown. I've learned. I've thrived in a new place with new people doing things I've never done before. I'm different, I can feel that. And I'm excited for my family to see that. I'm excited to be where I am within myself right now with all of the people who mean the most to me in the world. I can't wait to smell that familiar smell of lasagna on Christmas Eve and sing drunken Christmas carols at the piano with my cousins. I can't wait to drive the streets of my hometown, knowing that I've been driving streets of my own for an entire year. I'm excited to appreciate everything. Really appreciate everything.

So Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and much love to you and yours.

Thanks for reading.

XOXO,

City Girl from Cali (on her way to Cali)