HOLY GUACAMOLE, LOSING MY EVER-LOVING SHIT.

So, you guys are used to me writing when I'm sad... am I right? I think all writers take advantage of sadness in that way. It's easy to write when you're sad (and also not) because, well, you have a lot to say when you're sad.

Today, however, is a rarity. Today I am writing because I'm happy. (The fact that I'm writing because I'm happy is the rare thing, not being happy itself... just so we're clear.) In fact, I am so happy that I can't quite even calm down enough to write this. My hands move frantically over the keyboard nearly uncontrollably and thank the Lord right now for spell check.

Today, I found out two very unexpected and exciting things... that have led me to be way too excited about life in general...

First, I am getting a piano. It's barely going to fit in our already too-small apartment, but I don't care. We'll move someday. And this is a free piano. (Those don't come around often. Or, like, ever.) And I've always wanted my own piano. So this is a groundbreaking thing for me.

Second, I also found out that I am going to Cancun, Mexico with my ENTIRE family in December. We've gone about 6 or 7 times (How bougie do I sound? Not keeping track of how many times I've been to Cancun. So sorry.) with my family's timeshare and this year is the last year we have the timeshare. So everyone's going. Including me. And Jason. And I thought we couldn't. And now we can. Best graduation gift EVER. (Or best family ever.)

So.... because I can't quite believe it myself.... let's spell this out:

August: Jason's birthday, 4 year anniversary, Vegas Bachelor/Bachelorette Party, turning 25.

September: GETTING MARRIED, going to the BAHAMAS for my HONEYMOON.
(Yes, these required caps. Because I'm screaming them. I'm screaming them at the top of my freaking lungs, I'm so excited.)

December: Finishing my last semester of college EVER, going to CANCUN, and then GRADUATING. (In that order. Crap. So excited I just broke a key off my lap top.)

Life has been so hard. If you're frequent to this blog, I think you know that by now. And in the last few weeks (even before all of this amazing-ness coming up occurred to me/became a thing that was for sure happening) I have been feeling so overwhelming thankful for all of the good in my life---true family and true friends. I say true because, well, not everybody is. But the people who are, are so damn good at it, it just about knocks me clean off my feet.

It's so easy to focus on what we don't have. I know this is cliché, but it's true. It's so easy to forget about all of the good in our life when the bad starts to drown us. And that's okay. It's okay to let it drown us every once in a while because we're only human. But it's also important to consciously remember the good as often as we possibly can because no matter where you are in life, there is so much good to be thankful for. (Easy for me to say, right? Well, you'd be surprised.)

This year has put me through the ringer and it has taken me several therapy sessions to get to the point that I'm at right now---which isn't anywhere near "there", mind you, but it's a hell of lot better than "back there".

Come January when all of this excitement turns into a memory, and I'm faced with having to get a big girl job and put my big girl pants on... I'll read this post. I'll relish in its straightforward simplistic enthusiasm. I'll grimace at how it didn't all go exactly according to plan (because nothing ever does) and hopefully... I'll feel just as unbelievably thankful for my life as I do in this very moment.

Oh, and one more thing...

Thank you, God. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Christmas reflecting and Resolutions.

Christmas is over and I am supposed to be cleaning my apartment right now to prepare for the New Year's Eve party that we are supposed to have in two days. Having a week between Christmas and New Years is kind of nice, when you think about it. Usually, if you're like me, you have a little break and a little time to yourself to slowly say goodbye to your favorite time of year.

Christmas always comes so fast, but it comes just a little bit faster the older I get. Seriously-- Christmas got here in what seemed like only a month or two after it had just passed. Isn't that strange how that happens?

It's always just a little bit different, too. The people around you are a little different, the decorations in the boxes you've always had seem a little bit different, and you- yourself- are usually a little bit different, too.

I miss New York. (I don't miss New Jersey.) But I miss New York. I miss the hustle and bustle of people. The sharp cold on my cheeks. The feeling of Jason beside me as we wander down 5th Avenue. But I am so grateful for that time. In fact, it still feels like a dream. And I know that what I had with my city is a big part of the reason why I am who I am today-- this Christmas.

And next Christmas-- boy, oh boy! I am going to be MARRIED. Married, I tell you! I am going to be Taylor Christine Paris, and wife to the love of my life. If I thought Christmas felt different this year, I can only imagine what it will feel like then... And oh, how I love to imagine it.

I am so excited about the wedding. My family and friends are, too, and we're getting to that sweet spot in the planning process where just about 80% of all conversations revolve around the wedding. However, I'm surprising myself by how much more I think about what is going to come after the wedding. And no, I don't just mean the Honeymoon. I'm surprising myself because even though my thoughts drift to the wedding day and my dress and so on, quite often... They drift even more to what will come afterwards. The marriage. I am so excited to be married to my best friend. To get to say, "Oh, hi! Hello! This is my husband, Jason." To hear him say, "Have you met my wife?"

I'm so excited to get a house, and make it our own. To travel to Europe together, hopefully quite often. To get a dog, hopefully a Golden. And to start a family of our own. Growing old doesn't even seem so bad, knowing that Jason will be getting just as old right along side me.

Now, among all of this reflecting on both the present and the past-- I've, of course, been also planning my New Year's Resolutions. And here they are...

1. Get toned and stay slim for the wedding.

Because, cliché. I hadn't even realized how much weight I gained on the East Coast until I moved home and lost it, and then lost some more. I am more comfortable in my body than I maybe ever have been, and here's hoping I can keep it that way. It would also be nice to have some sexy, toned arms because I'm planning on a strapless, sweetheart wedding dress and ya girl wants to look goooood.

2. Read more.

When we lived in Jersey, I read CONSTANTLY. At one point I read seven books in one week. Seven. It was fantastic. I've always been an avid reader, but I had reached an all-time high at that point. Since we moved home, however, I haven't been making the time. Reading is so important. Getting lost in a good book is such a wonderful gift. No more taking that for granted.

3. Write more.

Yes, on this blog of course, but in general as well. I started my second novel in Jersey and I want to finish it. If only to see what happens because it's getting pretty good.

4. Grow my YouTube channel.

This is a hard one for me to even type, because to be frank-- it just makes me feel lame. In fact, I go back and forth between feeling completely lame and totally awesome every time I post a video. But I love the YouTube community and I love that people can make a living doing what they love. I want to be one of those people. Making videos is fun, no matter how many times that little voice in my head tells me it's stupid.

5. Do one (or more) spontaneous and romantic thing with Jason every single month.

When we lived in Jersey, it was just us two. We struggled with it from time to time, we got lonely. We missed our friends and going out with people or having them come over. But we also did really well on our own. We became closer than ever and bonded in a way that I've never bonded with anyone. It was truly a blessing. Now that we're back, we've lost that a little bit and we both miss it. We want to please everyone and never want to say "no" when we're asked to do something with someone because we spent so much time away. But it's important we make time for ourselves, too. The connection we share is too precious to be overlooked.

So that's it! I think these are reasonable resolutions and I look forward to checking them in what will feel like 5 minutes from now to see if I achieved them.

Happy Holidays and many blessings to you and yours in the New Year!

With love always,

City Girl from Cali